The people I meet everyday.: "She said she's a DOMINATRIX???"It's rare you ge...

The people I meet everyday.: "She said she's a DOMINATRIX???"

It's rare you ge...: "She said she's a DOMINATRIX???" It's rare you get a chance to say those words out loud. In truth, it's only on TV...

"She said she's a DOMINATRIX???"

It's rare you get a chance to say those words out loud.

In truth, it's only on TV shows like Sex and the City that the word is ever uttered.

But three days ago at work, I asked the question of a fellow colleague.

So let me present the evidence we had to go on - and let you make up your own mind whether she was or wasn't a Dominatrix.

Firstly, let's call her Eve, instead of going through our story calling her "this lady".  And secondly, Eve is not her real name - for those of you warped enough to search the name Eve and Dominatrix into Google and hope to come up with something more.

Eve was a very open woman, being quite tactile. She made great eye contact and was very engaging from the start. She was funny, cheeky and flirtatious.

Eve had told my female co-worker her revelation in confidence, while she was alone. So we actually had no witness to say that she had said the words, or any proof that she was what she said she was.

When I greeted Eve for the first time, she actually touched me before saying hello back. It wasn't invasive in any way, as she gently grazed my upper arm a split second before replying. Maybe it was her way of disarming people and being friendly.

At the same time she wasn't talking to her husband, who trailed behind her. It was clear they had a disagreement prior to engaging with us.

Eve was very attractive, despite being on the wrong side of sixty.  I would say she could possibly have been a model or something similar when she was younger.

She had cosmetic surgery done that was obvious to me - plumped lips and a botoxed forehead. But my male colleague pointed out that Eve's face definitely had also been lifted - as he said her skin that was initially around her cheekbones many years ago - was probably now behind her ears.

Despite her cosmetic surgery, Eve had kind eyes and a laugh that was husky and raspy in equal measure. She wore comfortable black leggings and a black top. She had a fine toned figure for a lady of her years.

As Eve became more comfortable talking in our company, she revealed a little more about herself. I noticed that the handbag cast over her shoulder had interwoven C motifs of Coco Chanel on the interior. And I kept getting the thin waft of the familiar scent of Chanel No5.

She downed a glass of white wine in such a fashion that made us gasp in surprise. I'm not sure if our astonishment was impressed or disapproving.

She talked about how herself and her husband spending equal time in both Florida and Dublin. They had a penthouse apartment in the city centre, overlooking a prominent landmark.

All cartoon images courtesy of Cartoonstock.

She talked about living close to nudist beaches in Florida - maybe she gauging how we might react before she revealed her big secret. Or maybe she just liked shocking strangers with wild tales.

At this stage, none of us knew what Eve or her husband did for a living. Our first guess was one of them was oil money and our second guess was real estate.

My female co-worker, being ever professional, tried her best to look nonplussed by her revelation, but failed miserably. Eve revealed to her that she had "whipped most of Ireland's elite classes and politicians."

Eve stated that both herself and her husband earned money in equal parts and that they shared everything. He worked in an area of business that was completely opposite to hers.

And then she produced her husbands business card as proof of his enterprise. But apart from a picture of the two of them on the reverse, there was no mention of her "occupation".

And that's why I don't think she was a Dominatrix.

Despite Eve being very entertaining and charming, I think she mainly craved attention. She loved being in the centre of everything.

I think that Eve had lots of attention to her good looks growing up and her need for plastic surgery let her hold on to it, just that bit longer. Her posturing and preening in public wanted people to notice her still.

Her need to dramatise normal situations kept her being talked about long after she had left. Despite her age, money and fading good looks, she was insecure just like most of us are about something.

But she did like the fast life. And the colour black....

First Impressions.

I work with the public daily and first impressions are crucial. How you greet someone you have never met before is vitally important. You want your impression upon them to be lasting and positive. 

Recently,  I told an ignorant manager that he provided really poor customer service. Not only did he create an icy atmosphere with his work colleagues, but he treated his customers with utter contempt. And he still had the audacity to say to me in an insincere tone to "Have a nice day!"

In the thirty or so seconds he had interaction with me, he never once made eye contact. He shouted at his co-workers twice and waved his arms about as if he was the only doing some work. In fact, he was the only one sitting down on the job. 

His gait was disinterested and sloppy. And then he called the previous customer to me "stupid" under his breath - all while she was walking away.

So I called him out on it.  

I don't know if it's anything to do with getting older (or wiser), but my tolerance level for idiocy and ignorance is getting very low. I told him he was rude and in no way interested in the customer standing right in front of him. 

As soon as I spoke outside of a monotone he actually looked at me for the first time. I was polite and civil in making my point about his lack of respect toward his customers.  I will think again about frequenting this particular store - all because of his ignorant attitude.

And that's why a good first impression is so important. Setting a positive tone of interaction with a stranger is vital. I have recently had the opportunity to work with many new recruits to our business and can not emphasise the importance of starting as you mean to go on.

If the "face" of a company does their job really well - do you continue to do business with that company? Of course you do. 

That's where I point out where front line staff have a unique set of skills - not everyone possesses these attributes. These qualities include problem solving and excellent interpersonal communication skills. 

They also include the ability to work under extreme pressure in intense conditions. And the ability to cope with a problem that you have never encountered before with confidence, grace and gravitas.

So when I meet people who can not even grunt in your general direction, I sometimes go out of my way to be even friendlier the next time - just in case they did not hear me on the first occasion. 

So in short - my tips for creating a great first impression are: make good eye contact, smile sincerely, shake hand firmly (if appropriate) and be the best version of yourself.



P.S. Since I wrote this piece two weeks ago, I can report that the so-called manager of the store I mentioned above has "moved on." 

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Boston Strong – One Year On.

It is in the depths of depravity and despair that we find resilience and strength.

The very same could be said of Bostonians, who today will cheer on thousands of willing and fit men and women through the torture of a 26.2 mile trek through their city. Not only will they be supporting their family and friends pounding the pavement, but they will start upon a journey of healing.  And they will be closing the door on a chapter of paranoia - that has enveloped the city since this time last year.

Those two brothers who effectively shut down the city of Boston for almost ten days last year deserve their comeuppance – both in this life and the next. One has passed on but the other awaits his trial. Retribution cannot come quickly enough for those who they hurt, maimed and killed.

Because of the actions of those two young men, Boston may never be quite the same again. It is amazing to think that just two individual people can wield such power and destruction. I know that in world terms their actions have been dwarfed by other insane bombings and terrible tragedies – but this was the first ever public event that changed the way a city lives.

Boston has always been a relaxed and playful city. It loves its sports, culture and lifestyle. Mother Nature has provided a weather that fluctuates from season to season, allowing the city to regrow. And in the power to regenerate comes change – not only in attitude but in moving on.

Time heals all wounds, no matter how deep the cut.

Paranoia is something that also dissipates with time. You learn to adapt and change with different procedures – so much so that change becomes part of normal life. How many years ago did we say that security going through airports was a hindrance and protected nothing? Now it is part and parcel of aviation and we all allow extra time after check in to get through security check points.

But it never goes away completely, and that’s a good thing. You are a bit more attuned to watch out for dangers and more likely to speak out against something that you don’t agree with. And with helping others - they are more likely to be on their guard for you in return.

People in the main, are good people.

The preparation for today has been in full swing for many days and weeks. Security, as you can imagine is being tightened. Undercover policemen and women are mixing with the general public along the city streets. Hi-visibility Police officers are on most street corners and junctions. Police helicopters patrol the skies while Transit Police monitor the actions of the public underground T trains. No stone is being left unturned.

But it is in the phrases and slogans plastered everywhere that give an insight about the positive messages Bostonians are trying to get across to the world.

They will not be broken – in body or in spirit. They hit rock bottom and came out fighting. 

Two of their biggest sporting teams coasted to their respective championships riding high on the crest of public empathy and support. It was the city’s way of saying “F**k you, we are Boston.”

And for that staunch never say die spirit, you have to applaud them.

So tonight, tune into your local TV station. No doubt they will have a heartwarming story of how this year’s marathon was such a success - and rightly so.  

The people I meet everyday.: The Most Interesting Young Man.I’ve metsome amazi...

The people I meet everyday.: The Most Interesting Young Man.
I’ve metsome amazi...: The Most Interesting Young Man. I’ve met some amazing and intriguing people in my life thus far. Some have been weird and wonderful, ot...

The Most Interesting Young Man.

I’ve met some amazing and intriguing people in my life thus far. Some have been weird and wonderful, others bland and beautiful. But some weeks ago, I met a young man who has captured my attention - like no one has ever before.

I first met him when he howled at me into my face - from less than three feet away. He was bewildered, dazed and confused as to what was going on around him. Taking the time to reassure him, he gazed up at me like he hadn’t a clue where he was.

Day by day, he started to find his feet. He needed some good medical assistance in those initial days, which seemed to bring him around. He was seemingly still a little perturbed about his existence, and needed constant care.

With every little bit that passed his lips, we started to see his true personality come out. He became more vocal and more animated when he spoke. It would be a frequent thing for him to shake his fists at me, when trying to make a point.

But in the past couple of weeks I’ve seen the real him. We have discussed sensitive topics, including politics, music and sport. His views are forthright, if a little garbled and confusing. But therein lies the fascination – what is he actually trying to say?

We’ve had a few drinks between us and I can tell you, he can’t hold his drink. It wouldn’t be uncommon for him to drop his chin to his chest and spew.

He is not a pretty drunk either, screaming and shouting abuse when others try to assist him. But I have, nonetheless, knowing that despite his protestations, he will appreciate it later when he wakes from his stupor.

And when he wakes he finds all that has gone on before, absolutely hilarious. And it is almost impossible not to laugh along with him. His tone of laughter is infectious.

He is fascinating on so many levels. He is brutally honest and tells you exactly what he thinks of you. It doesn't matter how good or bad your day has been - he doesn't care, as long as his needs are met. In his world, he is number one.

 

His needs are basic. He doesn’t hold material possessions in high estimation. All he wants is a safe roof over his head and enough food to keep him going.

And did I mention that he’s my eight week old son?