A Limerick for Harry.

On the first cold Monday of January,

I was woken by my wife, from my reverie.

As I lay deep in sleep hugging my pillow

She simply stated “Get up, Here comes our little fellow!”

Her waters had broken twenty minutes prior,

Yet she applied make-up, remaining calm under fire.

I whizzed around, packing stuff for myself,

Not knowing these items would remain on a shelf.

We had a false start as I pulled the car out,

“The floodgates have opened” she said with a shout.

Once redressed, we drove slowly at speed,

Watching out for any bumps, paying great heed.

Without any change, we stopped at the Port tunnel toll,

Where the man let us through as her fear took hold.

We hit the bump at Beckett Bridge with such surprise,

That it nearly forced baby out, complete with his cries!

Double parked at reception, I left her for a short while,

She was greeted with long plastic sheet and a smile.

She looked at it, not knowing exactly what to do,

Until the receptionist said “Sit on it love – the woman before you used two!”

At six in the morning, she lay on her first bed,

Given the pace of the day, I thought we’d see a head.

But our first nurse simply told us she wasn’t in labour,

And asked if we’d like to come back in later?

The pre-labour ward was full with phones and groans,

Where she quietly said “I feel embarrassed for their moans.

After she consumed her boiled egg, tea and toast,

One hour later she was the one who cried loudest and most!

With increasing pain and strength of contractions,

She got pain relief with horrific reactions.

Under haze of medication came the threat of abuse,

“I hate you - this is all your fault,” she said at first use.

Then came the surprise of which I had not planned,

As she bore down on contraction, she bit a chunk of left hand.

We walked the green mile of hallway to the delivery ward,

Where gas and air would be her reward.

We then moved to the room where baby would be born,

Where light blue tile and old fixtures adorned.

With thrusts and red faces, adding to clan,

Out came baby, according to plan.

With impatience said Mommy “let me see, let me see”,

“Let us meet our nine month prodigy.”

With a voice loud enough, ten fingers and toes,

We named him Harry - with his Daddy’s little nose.