Ban the celebrity "My story so far" book.

I am sick of them. So called celebrities that flaunt their biographies before they turn forty. Your life has barely begun and because you have a modicum of status within the popular media, you 'tell all' about your life thus far. Please give me a bucket. Most of the pages in these books are barely worth wiping my arse with.

I was watching the Johnathon Ross Show the other night and witnessed another celebrity launch their autobiography. His name is Gareth Malone, better known as the Choirmaster. He is the same age as me - approaching 37. I am not discounting his ability as a choirmaster or indeed a broadcaster - but for feck's sake! You're not into your forties and are cashing in! It's exactly what he's doing.

He is not alone in the cashing-in stakes of biography. In fact, he is just small fry when it comes to the big deals being doled out by the large publishing houses.

In 2006, we saw the mother of all celebrity deals. Wayne Rooney signed a minimum of a five book deal over twelve years worth five million pounds plus royalties. What age was he then you ask? 20.

How can you possibly write your autobiography at the age of twenty?

There were some people that even suggested that how could he ever write five books about his life in that span. At this moment in time, the deal is being reviewed. This is mainly due to the fact that Rooney had a dreadful World Cup in 2010 and barely featured for England at the European Championships earlier this year. His book sales although strong initially, have faded somewhat. His star seems to be fading too.

In this case, you can hardly blame Wayne Rooney for saying yes to the five book deal, but is a life story worth that amount when it is churned out every two years or so?

Katie Price would tell you it is. She is the Queen of the 'My story so far' biography. She has sold over two million copies. Five books in less than ten years. That's what you call cashing in. And she hasn't hit the forty year old mark either.

John Terry hasn't retired from football yet either, has he? The man who just seems to love the limelight (for all the wrong reasons) has penned a deal a deal worth seven figures. And he hasn't even opened his laptop yet for his writer to do all the writing for him.

But worst of all! I hear rumblings that the stars of MTV reality show Jersey Shore are set to be offered book deals in the run up to Christmas - good God!

My rant is this - autobiographies are exactly this. A story of your life when you retire, recalling all the shenanigans and mishaps that blotted and coloured your life. Telling it in a fun and well written way, that leaves the reader with your aspect and your take on your life.

Biographies should be written by those who view your life as it happens, in fact and not fiction (although fiction sells better). But churning out your 'story so far' when you've barely even reached middle age spread is just nonsense and drivel to me.

What probably annoys me more, is that they sell, and sell well. Six of the top 20 books on Amazon right now are not fiction books. Two are autobiographies of the type I am moaning about, so maybe the problem isn't as bad as I initially feared.

Autobiographies should be a once off, and a nice little earner for the writer for a career that has spanned a generation or so. Not for someone who has barely lived life.