Irish Breakfast.

Having spent the best part of the past week travelling around Ireland going to two friend's weddings, I have now become immune to the Irish hotel breakfast. We pay to stay in nice hotels, but the staid Irish breakfast buffet is beginning to do my nut in. I know the hotel buffet is in vogue because it offers choice and keeps costs down - but is it really?

I do travel a lot and spend a huge chunk of my time in the mornings eating. I could spend anything up to two hours enjoying my breakfast. It's my favourite meal of the day - and according to all the various health enthusiasts - the most important too. No matter where I am or what time of the day it is - I make time for breakfast. But the difference in America is that - they cook to order.

Say what you like about American people as a whole - but they love their breakfast! You have to appreciate the mix of foodstuffs they offer for all people. It is a country of extremes, but I like the variety of choice. They also cook and serve the freshest of fruit, meat and produce - and cook it to order. Their offering of choice is far better than what we get offered here in Ireland.

I am not attacking Irish chefs - Ireland has come on in leaps and bounds as a world culinary force. But simple things have been overlooked. Not all hotels are like this - this is just some of my experiences.

In the sage words of my friend Sean who said about ten years ago - "If you're not happy, send it back." He was so right.

Irish people are beginning to cop onto this. Having had wealth grip the country recently, we have learned to say no. Now that our spending habits and patterns have changed, I honestly hope we don't go back to the idiotic "Ah sure it'll do - aren't you lucky to have it."

That's why I sent back white toast the other morning. I had asked for brown - a simple request and not one that should tax someone greatly. The server looked dumbstruck and plainly couldn't tell the difference. I then asked for scrambled eggs and the cook/chef pointed me toward the covered bain-marie. I shook my head and lifted the silver lid - the scrambled eggs were swimming in a fluid that I think was water. He couldn't see my point. I wanted freshly cooked scrambled egg.

The previous weekend was three nights staying in a four star hotel in Mayo. A beautiful hotel but their breakfast buffet was baffling. Irish breakfast buffets have a certain penchant for a large bowl of prunes in a sugary sweet fluid. Don't get me wrong - I like prunes - but every hotel has this fare and how long has it been sitting there? And tinned fruit cocktail and grapefruit! What happened to local Irish fresh fruit like strawberries? The saving grace was some lovely sliced melon.

My wife loves black pudding and constantly gets disappointed with how hotels serve it. If it is served to order, there is no problem. But left sitting over a warm flame for a long period of time - it dries up very quickly. It's no wonder American people don't like it - it gets served poorly for breakfast. Whatever happened to cooking an Irish breakfast to order where all ingredients are cooked freshly? Bed and Breakfast hostelries do it - why can't hotels?

So that's why I write this. Say no to rubbery chicken. Say no to a salad that has ingredients in it that you didn't ask for - why do nearly all Irish establishments have cucumber and peppers in their side salad?

Say no to vegetables that the server says are meant to be "al-dente."
My arse mate, I can't cut into them.

You are the customer.

I'm not happy with this. Send it back - no matter what our economic times throw at us.